Three-year-old Fynley loves exploring his family’s rural property – climbing trees, jumping on the trampoline, and digging are among his favourite activities. As a newborn, Fynley failed his hearing test twice, and he was diagnosed as profoundly Deaf when he was nine weeks old. By that stage, parents Josef and Ashleigh had realised something was amiss, as he didn’t react when his older siblings Meadow (6) and Elijah (9) were racing around and yelling at the top of their voices around him.
Elijah, Josef, Fynley, Meadow and Ashleigh enjoy living on their rural property.
Josef and Ashleigh are grateful for all the support they have received, and they reflect now on how Fynley’s first year involved a whirlwind of change that was overwhelming at times. No-one in their respective families had been born Deaf before. They knew of cochlear implants, but nothing about the science and technology that would make such a difference for their son.
In that first year, Fynley also had unrelated surgery for another condition. Ashleigh didn’t return to her architectural design job after maternity leave and instead became a contractor, working full time from home with flexible hours so she was able to support Fynley in all his medical appointments. Josef switched his police officer role from full time to part time and, soon after, they moved from the outskirts of Christchurch to a rural lifestyle block in North Canterbury. The couple decided to go ahead with bilateral cochlear implants when Fynley was seven months old to ensure the best outcomes possible for him in his early communications.
“It’s difficult being the advocate for your child and knowing what choice is going to be the right one,” Josef says. Ashleigh says, “Fynley was born Deaf and that’s part of who he is. We can never rely solely on technology to communicate with him. If it fails, then at least we’ve got sign language as a backup.”
They are grateful to the Southern Cochlear Implant Programme for the extensive education and support the team has given them, especially Sonja, their Habilitationist. They greatly appreciate the help of Mr Phil Bird, the surgeon who reassured them and alleviated all their fears about Fynley’s implant surgery. Their Adviser on Deaf Children from the Ministry of Education is another special person they thank.
Ashleigh describes Fynley’s switch-on as an amazing, unique, special moment. They have a video to show his beautiful reaction to their voices. “His eyes widened and he had a huge grin. You’ll never experience something like that again,” she says. “When you see his reactions to hearing you, you fully realise what it means,” Josef says.
When Fynley was two and a half, he had caught up to the spoken language level of his peers. Josef, Ashleigh, Meadow, and Elijah are learning New Zealand Sign Language (NZSL) through First Signs and appreciate the amazing help of their teacher Debra. Fynley’s grandmothers and aunts are also learning. It’s important to them to have NZSL as a second language to support Fynley.
“He’s just getting to that older stage now where he can communicate more freely with us. We can actually ask him questions and he can respond and understand what we’re saying to him,” Ashleigh says. “It’s nice to be at a stage that every morning he wants to put his ears on and he notices if we’re delayed,” she says.
Josef says, “Nothing holds him back. He can do everything every other child can.” “Fynley is already cheeky enough to know that when his processors are disconnected, he can turn away and ignore his parents,” Josef jokes. They have persevered to keep his processors on as much as possible. Ashleigh has sewn colourful fabric headbands to help hold them on his head. She kindly makes extras for other children with cochlear implants.
Ashleigh and Josef enjoy participating in the Deaf community and learning from other families with shared experiences. Early on, they joined a Facebook group of parents of children with cochlear implants, and they find that support very beneficial.
Fynley calls his cochlear implants his ‘ears’. Ashleigh shares a funny story that when they were at preschool they were naming facial parts and when it came to ‘where’s your ears’, Fynley’s location was a bit higher on his head than the other kids!
As Fynley gets older, they’re looking forward to being able to ask him more about his experiences with the implants and what it’s like to take his ears off. Elijah, Josef, Fynley, Meadow, and Ashleigh enjoy living on their rural property.